So-So Wedding

     As any engaged person (okay, girl) does, I've started to fantasize about my upcoming wedding. I say fantasize rather than plan because we haven't decided exactly when we'll be donning the marital yoke... hopefully sometime this fall, ideally around the end of November (perhaps a turkey-pilgrim theme? black is slimming, after all) but our primary focus for now is our upcoming departure from Japan. But it will happen! And I'd like to be prepared when it does.
The Dress

     Every bride-to-be ponders over her choice of dress...not necessarily obsesses or starts eating one green bean a day in order to squeeze into their chosen sartorial concoction of satin, tulle, and lace, but still, a lot of thought is given. I already know exactly what type of dress I want, mainly because I'm pretty honest with myself and know that certain styles, trends, and traditions won't look great on me. Flirty sweetheart neckline? I wish, but not with a C-cup, baby. I'd be constantly yanking the sucker up all evening, frozen in a constant state of chicken-dancing. A full ball gown that would make Betty Draper drool? With my height I'd look like I was stuck in a huge mound of cake, not to mention I couldn't really sit down at all in it. And I do love the look of a  full cathedral length train...if I were marrying a marquess in a fabulously derelict church in Scotland.

     If I were to indulge in my fantasies and could choose any dress without worrying about how to actually style and wear it, I'd choose this one:
      The minute I came across this beautiful, albeit unfortunately named, gown I was floored. I love the contrasting panels of an intricate yet subtle motif, the way the skirt skims the hips then gently flows out like liquid silver...and I can't even describe how much I love the beading at the waist. There's something very historical about this dress, as if with a few tweaks and a lot more fabric this could have been made for a Byzantine princess. But it does look very oddly perched on her chest, cinched so tight that her breasts appear to be suffocating; she's even sporting some unfortunate side-boob spillage.
     This makes me suspect that if it were loosened it would start a slow but inevitable slide to her navel. Another worry is that I almost never wear anything strapless OR sleeveless (I don't think that I have ever worn any camisoles or tank tops in public, except in ballet class!) without a cardigan over it. Maybe I was a Puritan in a past life, or, more likely, I just don't look that great sleeveless. I don't know, though...I love this dress so much I may try it out anyways, but I'm not holding my breath.

     So what gown would I choose instead? Well in lieu of the "Mckenzie" (ugh. really? unless it's named after someone the designer actually knows, in which case I'm a horrible person) I'm fixating on a VERY fitted lace gown with a full lace neck and sleeves. Body-conscious yet covered-up, that's my style to a T. And yes, I know Nicole Richie was wearing pretty much exactly what I've described...but c'mon, we all know she has developed a rather impressive sense of style. After, of course, she grew some lady-balls and realized that trussing up like an Ed Hardy-sponsored call-girl was not a flattering look. On anyone. 
     I'd like the dress to be a bit more obviously lacy than the two flanking Nicole's, but I don't want it TOO lacy or I'd look like a walking doily. And of course, this means that the lace scalloped-edge veil is a no-no. Or is it? It may be overkill, but I love me some scalloped lace. Or should I go with the more simple jeweled headpiece/headband? Hmmm. Or how about both?

Just kidding. 
Kind of.

Update: thanks to an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, I'm now obsessing over Kenneth Pool gowns:

Next up...the cake!