The Dress
Every bride-to-be ponders over her choice of dress...not necessarily obsesses or starts eating one green bean a day in order to squeeze into their chosen sartorial concoction of satin, tulle, and lace, but still, a lot of thought is given. I already know exactly what type of dress I want, mainly because I'm pretty honest with myself and know that certain styles, trends, and traditions won't look great on me. Flirty sweetheart neckline? I wish, but not with a C-cup, baby. I'd be constantly yanking the sucker up all evening, frozen in a constant state of chicken-dancing. A full ball gown that would make Betty Draper drool? With my height I'd look like I was stuck in a huge mound of cake, not to mention I couldn't really sit down at all in it. And I do love the look of a full cathedral length train...if I were marrying a marquess in a fabulously derelict church in Scotland.
If I were to indulge in my fantasies and could choose any dress without worrying about how to actually style and wear it, I'd choose this one:
The minute I came across this beautiful, albeit unfortunately named, gown I was floored. I love the contrasting panels of an intricate yet subtle motif, the way the skirt skims the hips then gently flows out like liquid silver...and I can't even describe how much I love the beading at the waist. There's something very historical about this dress, as if with a few tweaks and a lot more fabric this could have been made for a Byzantine princess. But it does look very oddly perched on her chest, cinched so tight that her breasts appear to be suffocating; she's even sporting some unfortunate side-boob spillage.
This makes me suspect that if it were loosened it would start a slow but inevitable slide to her navel. Another worry is that I almost never wear anything strapless OR sleeveless (I don't think that I have ever worn any camisoles or tank tops in public, except in ballet class!) without a cardigan over it. Maybe I was a Puritan in a past life, or, more likely, I just don't look that great sleeveless. I don't know, though...I love this dress so much I may try it out anyways, but I'm not holding my breath.
So what gown would I choose instead? Well in lieu of the "Mckenzie" (ugh. really? unless it's named after someone the designer actually knows, in which case I'm a horrible person) I'm fixating on a VERY fitted lace gown with a full lace neck and sleeves. Body-conscious yet covered-up, that's my style to a T. And yes, I know Nicole Richie was wearing pretty much exactly what I've described...but c'mon, we all know she has developed a rather impressive sense of style. After, of course, she grew some lady-balls and realized that trussing up like an Ed Hardy-sponsored call-girl was not a flattering look. On anyone.
I'd like the dress to be a bit more obviously lacy than the two flanking Nicole's, but I don't want it TOO lacy or I'd look like a walking doily. And of course, this means that the lace scalloped-edge veil is a no-no. Or is it? It may be overkill, but I love me some scalloped lace. Or should I go with the more simple jeweled headpiece/headband? Hmmm. Or how about both?
Just kidding.
Kind of.
Update: thanks to an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, I'm now obsessing over Kenneth Pool gowns:
Next up...the cake!
